Dad, I’m sorry I’m falling behind in school. I’ll have these high peaks out of nowhere where I’m motivated & I WANT to do good, I WANT to study…but then that motivation seems to disappear. I mean, it isn’t that I don’t want to do good. I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with me. I know that my education is your biggest concern about me right now, & I wish I could get a routine going, I do…I just don’t know what’s wrong with me. I know you care though, so thank you for all you’ve done. I know there was prolly a part of you that hurt ‘cause you & mom divorced, but I know that it was only out of the best interest of this family. I’m sorry I ask for money, even if it is just small portions. I hate asking though, I really do. I feel better when I do something to earn it, honestly. I don’t tell you as often as I should, but I love you & I’m honestly so grateful to have a dad like you. You’ve taught me a lot, & even though everything you’ve showed or told me hasn’t completely sunk in yet, I know that later on, it will, it just takes time. I’m still developing. I have faith that when I’m an adult, I’ll be okay, because of everything I’ve learned from you, & all the experiences I’ve gone through. I’m sorry for the countless times I might’ve disappointed you, but I’m almost certain that I’ll find a way to make you proud, whether it’s now or when I’m an adult. I’ll put you & mom & this family first, always.
Mom, I’m sorry for all the hurtful things I’ve done or said to you. I’m sorry for any & all the tears I’ve made you shed. Regardless to what age I was when I said all those things, or how mad I might’ve been, nothing hurts more than the guilt that will forever be burdened on my shoulders. When I think back to everything I’ve ever told you, I know it sounds cliche, but my heart starts hurting. Like, how could I ever say such hurtful words to someone that cares for me the most? I’m so sorry for everything. I’m sorry if you felt betrayed at all these past couple years. I’m sorry I don’t call enough, come over enough, or just don’t see you enough. You’ve been through so much, don’t think I don’t acknowledge that. You’re strong, & I know you try your best. I know you’ve made your mistakes, we all have, but one of the reasons I have so much respect for you is because you can actually take blame in your faults. I know you’re struggling, & I know there’s a part of you that still hurts (not just financially) from the divorce, but I promise that when I’m older, I’ll be there for you 24/7. You won’t end up in a nursing home, you won’t have to ask anybody for any money, you won’t have to worry that you’ll end up alone…none of that. I promise to always be here for you, now, when I’m older, & forever. You’re independent, you don’t need a man to stand on your feet.
& to the both of you, I promise that I’ll never leave your side. Honestly, I wish I could get a job so that I could help out. Even then though, I don’t think money could add up to what a lifetime of guidance & love could. Like I told you, dad, I don’t think what you & mom have done for us could ever really be understood that well until I, myself, am a parent & a spouse. You guys make me mad, yeah, & you know how to hit my weak-points, but you’ll forever be the two people I look up to & care for most. I love you both so much, I respect you both more than words could describe or actions could show, & I promise to always be here.